My Birth Story

Being a mom is the most incredible, indescribable feeling. The love I have for Cash is like nothing else I’ve ever felt before in my life. Each day getting to watch him learn, grow and discover new things about himself and the world is the greatest blessing. I’m forever thankful. But as amazing as he is, the old saying you’ll forget all the hardships once the baby is born, well it’s bullsh*it!!! I will never forget what it took to bring Cash into this world.

So here’s what happened…

On Thursday, July 21st, I was 6 days overdue and dreading my pending induction that coming Monday. I was laying on the couch feeling frustrated that my body hadn't gone into labour on its own when I heard a loud popping sound and felt like I has peed my pants. In a state of disbelief, I stood up and pulled my pants down and water gushed onto the floor, it honestly was as dramatic as the movies for me. My husband, Matthew, had to grab two towels to dry it all up. Once the shock of what happened wore off, we embraced, cried a few happy tears then excitedly called our families before going upstairs to take a shower.

Shortly after she received my call my mom was Ringing the doorbell with Freshii bowls since we hadn’t eaten supper yet. I bounced on a yoga ball while my mom dried my hair and was fighting extreme back pain. All the tricks my husband and I learned to cope with pain were not helping, some of them were actually making my body hurt even more. I laboured at home until my contractions were just 4 mins apart, around 9:00 pm we all decided it was probably best we grab our bags and head into the hospital.

I remember the drive being excruciating, the 15mins felt like an eternity. I was pulling my whole body up on the grab bar above the window and every little bump in the road hurt like hell. When we arrived at the hospital we pulled up to the front and I jumped out and found the closest wheelchair to sit down in because I was having a contraction. A sweet older lady asked me if I needed help getting to the maternity floor because she thought I was alone. Matthew quickly appeared as I thanked her and he wheeled me to the caseroom. Once there, I was quickly brought into a room and asked to put on a gown so the nurse could check my cervix, I was 4 cm dilated. I told my nurse that I was feeling extremely nauseous because of the pain and asked if they could give me anything to help with nausea. I was administered a shot which ended up being morphine. In hindsight, I wish they had not given me this and will not accept it in future labours because things start to get quite foggy in my memory.

Shortly after this, I was brought to a labour and delivery room, this is where I stayed until after Cash was born. I remember while waiting for Erin, my doula, my mom was in the room with us. Dr. Monaghan, my doctor throughout my pregnancy, was luckily on call that night and came into my room not long after I was settled away. She brought her positive attitude and a refreshing popsicle.

Around 10 pm Dr. Monaghan checked my cervix and I was 6cm so I decided to labour on the toilet for a bit to try and keep things going. I was having back labour that did not ease up in between my contractions. It was the most excruciating and exhausting feeling. I tried laughing gas, and a heating pad on my back to help with the pain but wasn’t feeling any relief. My doula suggested I try the shower, and this is where I felt the most relief but I was still in a lot of pain, labor is NO joke.

I had mentioned to my nurse that I might get an epidural, but my fear of needles was holding me back from making the call. I was told around 12 am that the anesthesiologist was in the room next door and that if I was going to get one this was my last chance. I decided that if I had progressed past 6cm to an 8 or more I’d keep going on my own, but if I was still at 6cm I wanted the epidural. Dr. Monaghan checked and to my dismay, I was still at 6cm. Around 12:20 am I got an epidural and honestly never even felt a thing besides my contractions. I normally faint if it takes more than two attempts for an IV or bloodwork, I’m a wimp. But the labour pain was blinding I didn’t even notice the four attempts it took to place an IV in my hand.

Something I didn’t know about epidurals is that it takes time for it to kick in and it’s not immediate relief. But after twenty minutes I started to feel relief and drifted off to sleep. It was a short nap but was exactly what I needed to get me ready for the marathon that was delivery. When I woke back up I asked to be checked again and had progressed to 9cm, my body needed to rest in order to dilate the rest of the way. When I look back at the photos, the difference between my presence before and after the epidural is insane. I was not looking or feeling great but the epidural and nap did me wonders. 

After another few mins, I was 10cm and ready to start pushing. Everyone was confident that he’d arrive within the hour, I was very excited and so ready to meet my baby. What none of us knew at the time was Cash’s size and I’m so glad I didn’t because I would have been petrified. I don’t remember much from pushing but I do know it was the most physically exhausting and excruciating experience of my life.

Once I started pushing I questioned why I could still feel so much pressure and pain. In my head, once the epidural was administered I thought labour was going to be a breeze. I had no idea it only took away the contraction pain and the feeling from the baby actually coming down and out the birth canal/vag was still going to be there. Clearly, I should have done more research than just asking my mom whose last baby was 17 years ago and the other two deliveries were in another province.

I pushed for over 3 hours and let me tell you they were the hardest and some of the scariest moments of my life. Cash was stuck and it seemed that no matter how hard I tried or how much effort I put into pushing I couldn’t get his head out. My doula held one leg, Matthew held the other and I was able to focus every bit of energy I had into pushing him out. Everyone kept reminding me to breathe but screaming felt better than calmly breathing. After a few hours, I was feeling so depleted and started napping between the contractions to try and regain some energy. 

Neither of us can remember what time or how long I’d been pushing, but Cash’s heart rate started dropping. That’s when the room’s vibe changed and it was clear I needed to get him out ASAP. During my next contraction, I pushed with all my might, but his head would partially come out before going right back in. Someone even held a mirror so I could see but I was still unsuccessful. In the end, my doctor needed to help pull him out while I pushed.

Once he was out, it was a scary couple of minutes that felt like an eternity, they called Matthew to come cut the cord before they rushed Cash away. Matthew hesitated at first, not knowing if he should stay with me or follow the doctors with Cash but I reassured him I was okay and told him to go check on the baby. I remember crying and apologizing to everyone that it took me so long to push him out, I kept asking if he was okay and I was petrified that there was something wrong, that it was my fault. I didn’t get the immediate skin-to-skin that I had hoped for but looking back at the time stamp on the photos he was born at 5:08 am and was on my chest by 5:12 am. Let me tell you those 4 minutes felt like 4 hours. At the time I didn’t notice how blue he was, or that his head was extremely coned, looking back it’s a bit unsettling to see his colouring.  

At some point, I told to everyone I needed time before I had to deliver the placenta because I was physically and emotionally drained, but it was already out. Another surprise was half of my placenta had died and it grew again, meaning it was double the size of a typical placenta. It was sent to pathology but I’ve yet to hear anything about why this might have happened, I hope to get the results soon.

At 5:45 am we started our breastfeeding journey, he latched on right away and we had lots of skin-to-skin cuddles until they took Cash to weigh and measure him. Everyone in the room was trying to guess his weight and everyone was thinking high 8’s, but we were all wrong, 9 lbs 2 oz and 52 cms long. 

Despite how big Cash was and how difficult the labour was, I only had a first-degree tear. I did end up fracturing Cash’s shoulder during delivery, but thankfully it healed perfectly and hasn’t slowed him down in any way.

Major props to anyone who has given birth, vaginally or through a c-section. Bringing a child into the world is no joke and after going through it I have a newfound respect for all the strong, amazing humans who have done it.